The Composite Persuasion by Joel Marsh

Author:Joel Marsh [Marsh, Joel]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781471092923
Publisher: Joel Marsh
Published: 2012-03-25T14:00:00+00:00

DISARM CONCERN

It is always important to look at both sides of any situation. We may have anxiety about approaching strangers, but they also have anxiety about being approached. So we have to immediately disarm the general concerns they might have about us.

People will be put at ease when they get the answers to three questions:

1. Are you scary or weird?

2. Why are you talking to them?

3. When are you leaving?

That might seem cold, but remember, this is their internal dialogue. They would think that about any person that approached and so would you. If they’re having anxiety about being approached it will be about one of those things.

First of all, how you physically approach someone can matter. Regardless of gender it is safest to approach someone at an angle so they can see you coming but don’t feel confronted.

If you’re a man, never approach other men directly from the front, it can seem confrontational. Even turning your own body slightly as if you’re going to join their pace makes it seem more co-operative. Avoid approaching a woman from the back, (it feels like you’re sneaking up on them) or if you must, a hand on their shoulder can be a gentle warning that you’re there.

If you’re a woman no one will feel threatened by you, physically, but a man may be intimidated that you’re approaching at all. In terms of physical approaches, women have an advantage that way. As long as you don’t seem angry or upset, you’ll be fine. No persuasion should ever include anger or defensiveness.

Seating arrangements can have an effect as well and we will learn more about that in Step 4.

Remember Step 1, where we learned about valuable behaviour. You can eliminate the first concern just by being friendly. If you’re not scary or weird, they will see that; there is no reason to mention it. If you don’t intend to do anything bad to them (and you shouldn’t) then there is nothing to be nervous about either. By talking to them like a friend, they will become a friend.

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